Where to start? I’ve been researching autism non-stop for the past two years. Before that, I thought I had met only one person with autism — of course, a young boy with with limited social skills. My lovely teen had been in crisis for over a year and I had done everything possible to try to “help” them, including having the police bring them to hospital (I found out after that that also gives them access to a psychiatrist), going on many medications and trying to get the right one, having a mental health assessment (borderline personality disorder). I knew they also had trauma, but their emotional regulation was quite severe (as well as self-harm, anorexia, substance use).

Two years ago, my psychologist asked if I thought my teen might be autistic. Since I knew nothing about it, the suggestion didn’t make sense to me. They were funny, smart and kind… things I would soon find out had nothing to do with whether or not you’re autistic! After two years of research and two neuro-psych assessments (theirs and mine), it was clear that there are many other autistic folks in our family besides us.

There is so much I’d love to share with you, but if you have a teen who is really struggling (especially ones identified as female at birth) and maybe they only started struggling visibly in middle-school or perhaps they have always had issues with food — labelled a “picky” eater and bothered by texture — please, please read more about autism and eating disorders before following traditional advice for non-autistic ED patients. The reasons for your teen’s eating disorder may be very different than the stereotypical and they may need other methods to help them recover.

Please start here for helpful guides:

Eva Mumsby: Anorexia Family
I’m so thankful to have read Eva’s book, Anorexia and other eating disorders: how to help your child eat well and be well, after reading another book about helping teens with an eating disorder. None of the “evidence-based, gold-standard” help from traditional books would have helped my autistic teen and I know they would have made things much worse. You know your child more than anyone (although definitely consult with experts on medical topics)!

I’m Autistic, Now What?
This YouTube channel is so informative and although not about eating disorders, there is so much great info about late-diagnosed autism and Meg is so lovely.
https://www.youtube.com/@imautisticnowwhat

Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID)
Learn about ARFID on KidsHealth. ARFID is a type of eating disorder that has to do with taste, texture, smell, temperature and not body dysmorphia.